collected from my news feed, your instructions for today:

from a pub in Yellowknife, Northwest Territories,  in Canada's far north.

collected from my news feed, your instructions for today:

save the bees. save the elephants. saves the wolves. save the internet. save the mountain. save your soul. save yourself. save for the sale. save 25%. save! save! save!

act now, pay later. for a limited time only. once it’s gone it’ll never be back. count your blessings. buy! buy! buy!

you should do this. you should do that. hey, that’s not funny. i’m offended. how dare he!

wear this ribbon. put on this pin. please show your support. vote now!

pray for peace. pray for rain. pray for our troops. i pray i get a raise.

join the race. join the cure. join us at the pub for beers!

love one another. i hope he dies. i hope she rots. hallelujah, i just got a new phone!

dude, it’s gluten free. you should probably eat more kale.

stop overfishing. stop seal hunting now. stand up for human rights. sit down for gay marriage.

hey look, all you can eat fish!

put an end to pollution. end our dependence on oil. stop the corporations. GMO, bad.

shame on you for eating so much corn. enter the hot dog eating contest here.

win a lifetime of throwaway junk!

satisfaction guaranteed. reduce. recycle. reuse. resist.

cops are corrupt, police are bad. support our boys in blue!

taste the best and biggest burger in town!

the war on drugs. the war on the environment. the war on terror. the war on healthcare. the war on education. the war on conscious awareness.

knowledge is evil (i'd prefer you just stayed in the dark).

go green! get your free range and happy chickens here.

dairy farms are bad. end pig abuse now. cattle farming is a disgrace. mmm, bacon, bacon, bacon!

no leather, no dairy, no meat, no cheese, and nothing from the sea. vegan only please (just don’t eat too many beans).

stuff your turkey with a deep fried duck!

zero fat. half the sugar. twice the caffeine. get refreshed. drink this, it gives you wings!

don't fall. wear a helmet. stay on course. don't speed.

sign here to demand lower prices. march for clean water now. skydive for ebola. dance for cancer. hula hoop for Africa.

join the run for perogies and cheese!

protest the war. but don’t you dare take away my guns.

free the dolphins. free Ferguson. free the weed. free fries all day long!

save the rainforests. save the gorillas. enter here. win a brand new car!

throwback thursday. flashback friday. no makeup monday. you’re so brave!

a green smoothie a day will wipe all your problems away.

am i too fat? am i too thin? do you like my new hair? wow, nice nails!

look over here. look over there. would someone please just look at me?

tell like it is. you go girl. don’t stop believin’!

go offence. go defence. go team go. we're better than them.

crowd fund. crowd think. crowd numb.

blame the president. blame the banks. blame television. blame sugar. blame the kids.

accept no respsonsibility (but please show your ID).

no smoking. no plastic. no drive-bys. no dogs off leash allowed.

i wish i had time. i have no money. i’m exhausted. pick up your poop. we're shooting nothing but blanks.

namaste. bon voyage. see ya’ on the flipside. mahalo. peace out. praise Jesus. praise Allah. hi-five Buddha.

bt at one with the universe.

ohm.

thank you, for not thinking for yourself.

hashtag, amen.

brian thompson